“Hear me out…”
Do you have that friend that is contrarian just for the sake of it? That loves bringing up random players in sports conversations because apparently only he values Marshal Yanda’s legacy enough? That makes almost entirely crazy arguments that have just enough truth to be plausible, but aren’t actually correct (even though they’ll swear that they’re right)? I’m honestly 80% that guy in real life. I’ve unironically called the 2009 Orlando Magic the most influential team in NBA history before. I still firmly believe in Trevor Lawrence despite increasing available evidence. I know who I am, and all that to say, my life’s path has qualified me to write on this topic.
My point in this article isn’t to demean or diminish the mainstream candidates for these awards. Nor am I trying to just shout out the 6th-highest-odds player or so each time – some candidates will be a little deeper, some slightly more obvious, but I’m making all of these arguments in good faith for guys that I think deserve at least a little more attention for their excellent seasons.
Actually, you know what? That sounds too wishy-washy. No good hipster uses nuance. All in, these are totally correct takes that the sheeple are too dense to understand.
MOST VALUABLE PLAYER – BAKER MAYFIELD, QB, TB
“Hear me out … He’s 2nd in completion percentage, TDs, TD%, and success rate, 3rd in yards per game, and 4th in passer rating. And that’s without the fiery-hot Chris Godwin for half the season & without Mike Evans for a couple games as well. He has his team on the cusp of the playoffs, and has done so with an infrastructure that is more good than great. He’s elevated an already strong debut by Liam Coen in Tampa Bay, handled missing weapons, and gotten guys like Jalen McMillan to shine. His passing game profile matches up with any more high-profile passer, and yet he’s flying under the radar for now (until he pulls off another playoff upset this season).”
Honorable hipster mentions – Sam Darnold, QB, MIN (maybe we should give him much more credit instead of predominantly O’Connell & the infrastructure); Justin Herbert, QB, LAC (he’s had about one functional weapon on the field most of the season but still makes things happen)
OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR – PENEI SEWELL, OT, DET
“Hear me out … nobody ever credits the O-lines enough, and since I can’t just nominate the entire Lions unit, Sewell gets my vote as its figurehead. Goff is merely fine (remember how they won that 5-pick game?) – but this team works because they have maulers up front. Look at Houston – they were supposed to be an ascendant contender & Stroud was supposed to be The Next Guy, but a terrible OL meant that 2024 is looking like a wasted year. O-line matters. Detroit is the first team ever to have multiple 1,000 yard rushers and multiple 1,000 yard receivers, and it all starts up front for this smashmouth group of knee-biters. And besides just general line play, Sewell is a beast, one of the best players relative to his position in the whole league, and OL are offensive players too.”
Honorable hipster mentions – Justin Jefferson, WR, MIN (you could argue he deserves it every season); Brock Bowers, TE, LV (since when can a rookie TE carry a team like this?)
DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR – ZACH BAUN, LB, PHI
“Hear me out … what if we’re underrating the defensive implications of the recommitment to the run game that we’re seeing in the NFL? Everyone is talking about how we missed the boat on Saquon Barkley, Derrick Henry, and Josh Jacobs because rushing is more and more important on offense, but this means that linebackers are more important too. It’s not only about DEs and CBs. Baun is 2nd in the NFL in solo tackles, he’s right at the heart of the stingiest defense in the league in yards per game and yards per play, and he’s is one of the out-of-nowhere stars of the season. It isn’t a uniquely dominant year for some of the perennial greats – so it’s time for a dark horse pick.”
Honorable hipster mentions – Zach Allen, DT, DEN (has a big lead in QB hits & is doing it in the middle); Andrew Van Ginkel, OLB, MIN (putting up sacks and tackles too on a scary defense)
OFFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR – BRIAN THOMAS JR., WR, JAX
“Hear me out … sure, Daniels is awesome, but what if I told you that the next superstar WR put up monster numbers even one of the most dysfunctional teams in the league? The only player that beats him in both targets and yards per reception is Justin Jefferson, who is inarguably one of the 2 best WRs on the planet. He’s one of only 4 players with over 1,100 receiving yards and 10 TDs in his rookie season – and the others are Randy Moss, Odell Beckham Jr., and Ja’Marr Chase. He’s 5th in the league in yards despite having a regressing Trevor Lawrence & a backup Mac Jones throwing to him. And if you say that he’s just getting targets because of injuries in Jacksonville, then wouldn’t he be getting more defensive attention too? He’s a beast.”
Honorable hipster mentions – Ladd McConkey, WR, LAC (coming on strong over the second half as Herbert’s best weapon entering the playoffs); Roger Rosengarten, OT, BAL (remember when the Ravens’ OL was supposed to be their Achilles heel?)
DEFENSIVE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR – TARHEEB STILL, CB, LAC
“Hear me out … he’s as good as the more-hyped rookie CB Quinyon Mitchell, and as a 5th round pick. He’s got 4 INTs and 10 passes defensed – no rookie beats him in both of those categories, and he didn’t even get onto the field right away. The Chargers went from 3rd worst against the pass in 2023 to 3rd best against it in 2024, and Still has been a huge part of that turnaround.”
Honorable hipster mentions – Braden Fiske, DT, LAR (nobody is Aaron Donald, but he’s been really good); Calen Bullock, S, HOU (flying under the radar but a productive part of a very good defense)
COMEBACK PLAYER OF THE YEAR – BRYCE YOUNG, QB, CAR
“Hear me out … was there any QB more unanimously written off after his atrocious 2023 and possibly-even-worse beginning to 2024? The NFL media can barely agree on anything, and everyone agreed that he just wasn’t good enough or big enough to play QB at the highest level. And yet lo and behold, he’s making big-time throws and actually becoming a productive QB. His average yards per game over his last 6 would put him right ahead of Jayden Daniels and Justin Herbert for the season. His 4.1% TD rate over those 6 is ahead of the season-long numbers for big-contract guys like Lawrence, Stafford, Dak, and Kyler (not to mention CJ Stroud, against whom he’s constantly been framed by virtue of their draft status). Is he elite? Nope. But clawing back from the grave to turn things around is worth mentioning.”
Honorable hipster mentions – JK Dobbins, RB, LAC (his presence essentially correlates with most of the Chargers success this year); Sam Darnold, QB, MIN (if only he had a Geno Smith-style bar like “They wrote me off but I didn’t write back.”
COACH OF THE YEAR – ANDY REID, KC
“Hear me out … He wins. What else is a coach supposed to do? Sure, he has Mahomes. Among other megastar QBs, Lamar’s Ravens have lost 5 games and Burrow’s Bengals have lost 8 – the Chiefs have only lost 1. Sure, their offense isn’t as explosive as some years. They lost their emerging star WR 3 games into the season – have you seen what the Steelers or Texans or Rams have looked like on offense when they’ve lost star WRs? Nobody lucks into a 15-1 season (I don’t care what they do against Denver with the 1-seed already locked up), and yet Reid doesn’t seem to always get either the culture-building credit of guys like Tomlin or Campbell, or the offensive designer credit of the McVay-Shanahan-O’Connell-LaFleur circle. They’ve navigated a season where they get everyone’s best shot every week, won virtually every game, and are now peaking at the right time for a chance at an unprecedented three-peat. He deserves it.”
Honorable hipster mentions – Sean McDermott, BUF (he also is just plain winning, leads the only team to beat KC, and is doing this in what was perceived to be a bit of a retooling year); Dave Canales, CAR (in his last 3 years, he’s turned around Geno Smith, Baker Mayfield, and now Bryce Young)
